Sex is one of the most intimate ways to connect couples together. However, over time, the fire of passion that was once red starts to turn blue. What happens when the desire for intercourse doesn’t “match up”?
This mismatch principle is called sexual desire discrepancy, and it is one of the greatest problems troubling couples. Desire disparity does not imply that a relationship is dying or that love does not exist. It simply means you and your partner could be in different places at different times in terms of desire.
Therapists and counselors agree that this is common and can be dealt with in such a way that it could even strengthen bonds between couples. So, here are some tips from sex therapists who can help you reignite the passion your intimate life is missing.
What is Sexual DesIre Discrepancy?
Every couple tends to vary in preference when it comes to sexual desires. It’s normal for couples to have different levels of want and desire for sex and intimacy. There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ in it, as every person is different from another one.
For example:
- While one partner craves a high libido and wants to make love a couple of times during the week, the other doesn’t want that much excitement.
- Transitions in lifestyle, such as having kids or getting a new job, and health problems may change the times that interest or disinterest in sex comes up with one or both partners.
While this happens normally, but you need to find solutions for low sex drive. Without answers, your partner will become frustrated, confused, or feel rejected.
Remember, it’s not normal for one person to feel pleasure while the other goes through guilt. You need to match the craving to feel connected and together.
Overcome Intimacy Issues with Expert Therapist
Professional therapists know how to deal with and guide couples through these sensitive situations. Here are a few tips from sex therapy experts in Houston that can help you understand your partner and the lost intimacy.
Establish Powerful Communication Channels
Ineffective communication is one of the biggest obstacles to resolving desire disparities. This happens when they are afraid of being rejected or having a fight. Hence, couples frequently avoid talking about their sexual needs.
- Take Out Time to Talk
Make sure to arrange frequent check-ins so both of you can freely express how you feel about intimacy.
- Use “I” Statements
To convey personal feelings without placing blame on your partner, frame your discussions of feelings with “I” statements.
For instance, rather than saying, “You never want to be intimate,” you may add, “I feel detached when we do not spend intimate time together.”
- Practice Active Listening
Engage in active listening by attempting to understand your partner’s viewpoint. This allows you to address emotions in addition to hearing what they have to say.
Scrutinize the Root Causes
Sexual desire discrepancy might occasionally be connected to underlying problems, including stress, anxiety, depression, or medical conditions. Finding these underlying causes can be very important.
- Seek Expert Assistance
Make sure to consult with a professional therapist who can explore the underlying problems. At Connected Wellness Counseling, we understand both couples and provide individual therapy to strengthen couple bond.
- Examine Medical Factors
Libido may be impacted by specific drugs, hormonal fluctuations, or medical conditions. To rule out medical issues, speak with a healthcare professional.
Boost Emotional Closeness
Intimacy on both an emotional and physical level is intimately related. Rekindling sexual desire can be facilitated by developing emotional intimacy.
- Practice Non-Sexual Affection
Without the stress of sexual expectations, small gestures of affection, such as holding hands or snuggling, can help build closeness.
- Spend Quality Time Together
Participate in activities that you both enjoy and spend quality time together. As a result, intimacy can become more organic, and your relationship can strengthen.
- Communicate Vulnerabilities
You can strengthen your emotional bond by being honest about your worries and fears. Clearly discuss the weaknesses and threats you feel as a person.
Educate Yourself About Sexuality
Understanding each other’s sexual needs and desires can provide clarity and reduce misconceptions.
- Read Together
As a pair, think about reading books about intimacy and sexuality. This can lead to discussions and the development of a common understanding.
- Attend Workshops
Seek out seminars or workshops on intimacy and desire that are taught by professional sex therapy experts. These can offer useful tools and insightful information.
Set Realistic Expectations
It is critical to have reasonable expectations regarding sexual desire and closeness.
- Recognize That Desire Changes
Remember that a variety of things, such as stress, life phases, or even everyday mood, can affect libido. This is a natural aspect of being human and does not indicate a problem.
- Celebrate Little Victories
All sexual therapy for couples experts recommends paying more attention to the steps you both take to get back in touch than just the final result. Cherish intimate encounters, no matter how brief.
Explore New Forms of Intimacy
Look into alternative forms of physical and emotional connection if you find traditional sexual closeness difficult.
- Try New Things Together
Trying new things together can revitalize your relationship. For instance, explore sexual content or watch intimate videos together and include sexual toys in foreplay.
- Introduce Variety
You can also try out new methods to spend time together and increase intimacy. This could be as easy as moving or experimenting with different physical affectional techniques.
Create an Intimacy Routine
Establishing an intimacy routine does not have to be unromantic. In reality, it can reduce anxiety about the subject.
- Set Up a Private Time
Setting aside time for intimacy, despite its robotic sound, can help guarantee that both couples feel valued. It enables you to become emotionally and psychologically ready.
- Make It Special
Establish the mood by playing soothing music, dimming the lights, or creating a calm environment while organizing alone time. This may result in both partners feeling more open and connected.
Practice Patience and Compassion
It is important to handle the situation with patience and empathy since change takes time.
- Treat Each Other With Kindness
Keep in mind that both spouses are negotiating difficult emotions. Engage in conversations with compassion and understanding.
- Avoid Blame
Instead of placing blame, concentrate on finding solutions. This encourages a team effort to solve the problem.
Embracing the Journey to Intimacy and Connection
Resolving sexual desire discrepancy is a process that calls for mutual cooperation, discussion, and understanding from both partners. It is important to handle this subject with the utmost respect and not ignore each person’s dignity.
Do not be afraid to ask for assistance if you are having trouble with desire inconsistencies. Asking for advice is a proactive move toward creating a more wholesome, satisfying relationship, not a sign of failure.
Keep in mind that closeness and love are worthwhile endeavors, and you can reunite with each other if you have the correct resources and assistance!